Bad day for Florida dwarf tossers

A ban on dwarf-tossing in Florida remains in place, after a state legislator dropped his own challenge, reports
The Huffington Post.
This not-so-tall tale began in November, when Florida Representative Ritch Workman began his effort to repeal a long-standing ban on dwarf-tossing – a controversial activity in which those of small stature are hurled around for entertainment.
At the time, Mr Workman even told The Palm Beach Post: ‘I’m on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people. This is an example of Big Brother government.’
However, he has now allowed his proposal to expire, ironically at the request of ‘little people’ from all over America.
Mr Workman recently told Florida Today: ‘They are lawyers, elected officials and all struggle to get past that carnival thing from 100 years ago. I had a doctor, a lovely woman from New York, call me and say, “Has anyone ever stopped you on the street and hugged you? Rubbed your head? Taken pictures of you?” I said, “No”. She said, “Well, I’m a doctor, and people think I’m some sort of circus clown… Although I agree that I should have the right to be tossed in a bar if I want to, can you please stop talking about this?”’

Lost in translation

The English translations of European deal notices often elicit a chuckle or two as the clunky nature of the differing languages brings a round hole and a square peg to mind. However, when a truly outstanding effort is made to make use of English buzzwords, we can only watch in awe.
Step forward Dieter Spranz, a partner with Austrian law firm Wolf Theiss, who practically exploded with clichés following his firm’s input into a deal involving Austrian telephone network developer Symena Software & Consulting and its sale to UK-based telecommunications specialists Aircom.
Wrote Mr Spranz, presumably with his book of English jargon to hand: ‘The integration into an international player was the next logical step in their growth process. Hence, incentivising all parties involved to leverage the obvious future synergies in an optimal way and providing the necessary legal safeguards on both sides were the specific legal and structural challenges of this transaction.’
Not to be outdone, Thomas Neubauer – founder and chief executive of Symena – replied in equally extravagant fashion: ‘In the dynamic environment of the high tech sector, the ability of legal advisers to accurately reflect the complex structures involving various legal systems in a contractual framework at the required speed is a key factor for success.’

Back in the kitchen

Hot on the heels of Anglo-German firm Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer’s bake off to celebrate International Women’s Day, global firm Latham & Watkins’ Women Enriching Business (WEB) programme has offered its members an evening of canapé-making.
One bemused commentator told The Lawyer newspaper: ‘I almost fell off my chair laughing when I received an invitation to the ‘Women Enriching Business Group’ and its master-class on “creative canapé making”. It’s wrong on so many levels.’
Ruth Grant, partner and co-chairwoman of Hogan Lovells’ worldwide diversity committee, gave The Lawyer her own opinion of the event: ‘At first you might think, “oh, gosh”, but actually I suspect that a lot of people would really enjoy it. A little while ago we ran a chocolate-making evening and it was very popular.’

Forced march of the penguin

In an incident comparable to a scene from Hollywood movie The Hangover, three Welshmen are facing criminal charges after they allegedly stole a penguin from Australia’s Sea World during a drunken rampage, and then posted their adventure on Facebook, reports Findlaw’s Legally Weird.
The men, who had broken into Sea World after hours to swim with the dolphins, were shocked when they woke the next morning to discover a penguin waddling around their Queensland apartment.
‘Can’t believe... penguin in our apartment man... we stole a penguin,’ one of the men says in a video, apparently taken the morning after their exploits.
In an attempt to make things right, the men released seven-year-old Dirk in a nearby estuary – which happened to be infested with sharks. Onlookers saw Dirk get chased out of the water, possibly by a shark – and then chased back into the water by an irate dog.
Fortunately, Sea World workers arrived a short time later to save the penguin. The men now face charges of trespassing, theft, and unlawfully keeping a protected animal.

Paranormal legal activity

A New Jersey couple are suing the landlord of their three-bedroom house in Toms River because it’s haunted, reports
USA Today.
The tenants of the ghost house, Josue Chinchilla and Michele Callan, have demanded return of a $2,250 security deposit one week after moving in, blaming ‘paranormal activity’ – including whispering and lights that switch on and off seemingly
by themselves.
The couple’s claim has been supported by Marianne Brigando, co-founder of NJ Paranormal Investigators of Old Bridge, and pastor Terence Sullivan of the Element Church in North Brunswick, who confirmed the house was subject to a ‘demonic possession’.
The owner of the house, Richard Lopez, is less than impressed with the paranormal paranoia, and has filed a countersuit claiming the couple can’t afford the house and are trying to get their money back.